Umbrellas: Last Line of Defense against Australian Sun

So, enough about wildfires and focus on the personal solutions to Australia's sun-baked landscape: Monica Dux writes about becoming the "umbrella woman" and for the sneers she gets in return:

The results were impressive. Umbrellas cover far more surface area than even the broadest-brimmed hat, so they freed me from the marinade of sun-screen that I once basted in. As a bonus you can also use them to mask your identity from passing acquaintances you wish to avoid.

...

Yet my brolly-embracing was not met with the popular enthusiasm I anticipated. Instead, teenagers pointed at me and snickered. On playgrounds, the parents of small children avoided me as if my umbrella were the modern day equivalent of a trench coat. I was even abandoned by an old friend who refused to be seen crossing the road with “an umbrella person”.

Monica does conclude with one great line: "After all, our nation wasn’t just built by lobster-red lifesavers and heat-stroked stockmen but also by pale neurotics who pay far too much attention to the freckles on their décolletage."