Look Ma! No Hands! And my Umbrella is Staying Up

Than you Daily Mail for today's invention. From a cabbie, no less: "Cabbie Ibra Ahmed hopes his hands-free umbrella will be ideal for ladies who struggle carrying their brolly and other items." Now, why this should only be for women, I don't know. Seems to me that men might want to text while walking in the rain, too. So after Mr. Ahmed makes his initial fortune with "Hands Free Brolly Bag" maybe he will turn his attention to the other half of the population and create a brolly with a man bag.

Of course, there is competition out there. So wish Mr. Ahmed luck against The Hands Free Brolly Company, Ltd. (for those who push prams or wheelchairs) and, of course, the often featured Nubrella.

Book Covers: Cutting for Stone

Another book, another apparent fiction best seller, another book I had not heard of. This time we have an umbrella on the cover of the U.S. 2010 Vintage paperback edition of Abraham Verghese's "Cutting for Stone." [There is no such image on the original hardback or paperback covers.] So, let's go fishing.

No clues on Amazon--a lot about doctors and twining medicine into fiction but nothing about umbrellas. Not looking for rain either, since the umbrella holder appears to be in a sunny meadow. So on to Google. First hit is Google books with an excerpt with the word umbrella in it; from page 295:

One morning, as I went down to the gate, umbrella in hand, I saw a woman coming up the hill to Missing, rivulets of water pouring off her umbrella.

That's nice, but has nothing to do with the cover image. Second hit not good at all: A reading guide which tells us that an early part of the story takes place in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia, which, among other things, retains "Campari umbrellas" left behind by the Italians. Well, I do like Campari and bitter lemon, but that isn't a Campari umbrella.

Not doing any better with remaining hits. Do hit a gold mine--for book covers, but not this book--on the second page of hits with a link to a Goodreads Listopia on Umbrellas: 78 book covers with umbrellas on; I can go two months plus now without doing any searching on my own!

Well, further refining of searches is getting me nowhere. I get other references about the story: family saga, three continents, doctors, Siamese Twins, but no umbrellas. So, tell me, Internet, who is on the cover and why the umbrella?

Book Covers: Hotel on the Corner of Bitter and Sweet

Okay ... a long absence, I start a new theme. Book covers with umbrellas on them. Today's random selection is the U.S. edition of "Hotel on the Corner of Bitter and Sweet" by Jamie Ford. So, I know nothing about this novel, see that it is selling well and need to know why there are two people holding umbrellas on the cover.

First, the word "umbrella" does not show on Amazon's listing for the book. It shows Publisher's Weekly saying that Ford's "strained debut concerns Henry Lee, a Chinese-American in Seattle who, in 1986, has just lost his wife to cancer," and Seattle is notoriously rainy, so maybe that is it? Wild guess, but the word "rain" also doesn't show up in any of the first page of reader reviews either.

Second, on to Google. Well, I find that searching for the book and umbrella is mightily productive. The very first hit (and will this entry now beat that?) is for someone else's discovery of the number of book covers she has with umbrellas on them (hint--source for my next pick?). Anwyay, the Infinite Shelf finds that on this cover "the tones are beautiful, sweet and melancholic," but still no answer to why umbrellas.

Second Google hit does better. This time a review of the book by Andrea Ruiz in which she tells us that Lee is wandering by a hotel where the current owners, "who want to restore the building, find the belongings of Japanese-Americans who were sent to the internment camp. Each artifact is brought outside and shown to the public, and Henry sees an umbrella with a koi painted on it. This brings a rush of emotion and he is overwhelmed with memories of his past." Well, this is good, an umbrella as a key to memory, a la Proust's madeleine ("involuntary memory" according to Wikipedia).

So, not bad. Don't get anything out of any subsequent hits except for this exact excerpt:

The new hotel owner, a slender Caucasian woman, slightly younger than Henry, walked up the steps holding . . . an umbrella? She popped it open, and Henry’s heart beat a little faster as he saw it for what it was. A Japanese parasol, made from bamboo, bright red and white—with orange koi painted on it, carp that looked like giant goldfish. It shed a film of dust that floated, suspended momentarily in the air as the hotel owner twirled the fragile-looking artifact for the cameras.

So, I am better off, but still don't know why there are two people holding umbrellas on the cover!

Addendum (1/25/2012): I picked up a copy of the book at a sale table at my local library, and the reviewer was indeed correct--the umbrella (parasol) is a memory key for the protagonist (Henry). There is also at least one other umbrella, his own, a necessary accessory in rainy Seattle, where the story takes place.

We Got Your Back: Wet Umbrella Protectors

This may have been around for a while ... and they are not cheap (that is, commerical use only), but hey, we are protecting our umbrellas; not leaving them around wet and then forgetting them later. Now, when you look at the comments at The DailyWH, you see folks objecting, since water dries up, etc., but these folks just don't understand, it is not that we don't want our umbrellas to stay wet, but that we want to keep our umbrellas with us. So, way to go Kasapon.

Short Fiction: An Umbrella, a Wish, an Umbrella Factory

Umbrella Factory

Well, we have found umbrellas in literature, but we haven't had much occasion to find umbrellas in our current reading, but now we have. Saïd Sayrafiezadeh has a short story in the March 1, 2010 issue of The New Yorker entitled "Appetite." While the narrator is a waiter, umbrellas figure in one digression in the tale: First, some rain and then his umbrella: "My umbrella was no defense. After two blocks, the material tore away beneath the onslaught, so that I was holding only the frame of an umbrella." Second, his wish: "Why could no umbrella be invented to withstand a downpour?" and then his memory of an umbrella factory:

I was called one June morning to meet with the supervisor of an umbrella factory. It was a small, family-owned place on the outskirts of town, where factories still existed. I had to take three buses to get there. The supervisor was a sweat-stained man in a tie, with one button missing from the center of his shirt. He was looking for an office clerk. ... Afterward, he showed me around the plant. It was old and made of wood, and I assumed there were mice. A group of Mexicans, or people who looked like they might be Mexicans, stood around a long table spray-painting assorted logos onto umbrellas. I was curious about their work, and the supervisor took me closer so I could see. The smell of paint was pleasant and reminded me of my kindergarten days.

So what is it about umbrella factories? Do they hold up metaphorically. We have visited one with the Queen of England, and Charles Dickens wrote about how umbrellas are made, but otherwise, we kn ow very little about them. Just another good, another manufactured good. But, maybe what Sayrafiezadeh captures is it--umbrella factory as small, family owned, with just the hint of bigger marketing with the painted logos. So, let us ponder, as we listen to The Sea's song: Umbrella Factory.

one day we will wake up
wondering where we are
we'll find it all messed up
the rain will wash away
what's left of us
wondering where we are
we'll find it all messed up
the rain will wash away

Squidarella: The Color Changing Umbrella

http://www.urbantrim.com/squidarella-color-changing-umbrella/Thanks to Fabsugar for directing us to this one. The designers at SquidLondon have come up with this color changing technology. According to UrbanTrim:

The umbrella starts out in black and white. As the rain starts falling on the umbrella, each drop will cause the colorful design to show through. Eventually when the whole umbrella is wet it will have morphed into the vibrant colorful version that you can see above. When the rain stops and the umbrella dries the colorful design will slowly fade back to white.

They don't seem to be the only ones, since you can also get a Suck UK Color Changing Umbrella So let us start the color changing wars--maybe even start a color changing blog, so you can track color changing animals and color changing roof tiles. Or, reject it all and accept the true umbrella color: black.

X-Ray Umbrellas: Disappointing, You Can't See Through Things

How could we not check this one out. Thanks to Walyou, we were introduced to the X-ray umbrellas of Anastacia Spada, but our hopes of some technological breakthrough--think of the possibilities!--were dashed when we found out her work was making umbrellas out of old X-rays. A worthy cause, complete with an instruction manual, but not one we were hoping for.

Spada's project was inspired by the magazine ReadyMade. She was given the task of finding objects that are commonly discarded, and re-purposing them in a way similar to projects found in the magazine.

Winter Weather: Snow and Umbrellas: Yea or Nay?

Opining in USA Today, Craig Wilson says Nay--noone from the real north, where there is real snow all the time, would think of using an umbrella in the snow. Yet, after 25 years in the "South" (Washington, DC area), he ponders: "What's up with these umbrellas? Yes, umbrellas. Umbrellas in snowstorms. I don't get it. Everyone knows you don't carry an umbrella in a snowstorm. But here they are."

Well, apparently he isn't the only ponderor this season. The Washington Post Capital Weather Gang poll, with a tip of the hat to the Urban Bohemian, had 3% always using them, 23% sometimes, and 72% "Never. Umbrellas in snow are wimpy."

But, go further in the blogossphere and the Net, and you will find paintings of umbrellas in the snow,  Japanese snow umbrellas, and comments that some snowy places (Slovenia) have always used umbrellas.

So, folks, if it keeps the snow off your head and keeps you dry, use that umbrella.

Miss Umbrella Girl: Does This Have To Be Only for Malaysians?

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Now we know where to go to find folks who truly appreciate umbrellas for what they are good for--not rain, nor sun, but advertising! According to the The Star--Malaysia's biggest English newspaper, new Miss Umbrella Girl 2010 contest, to be held in Penang from March 13-14, hopes to produce a new batch of brolly beauties who are articulate and media savvy.

What are "umbrella girls"? Apparently, they "are an integral part of glamour sports events like the MotoGP, SuperBike Championship, Formula One, Nascar and other team races. Sponsors hire them to hold umbrellas over the heads of their riders while wearing their logos and corporate colours. They are indispensable at high profile races and part of their job is to pose with admirers and spectators."

Unfortunately, however, they "are ranked lower than models, actresses and beauty queens." But at least they are UMBRELLA GIRLS. In other countries, they go by other names: are called Race Queens (Japan), Pit Babes (Britain),  Pit Girls or Grid Girls (Europe), Racing Girls (Korea), and Pretties (Thailand).

So, if you want to be an Umbrella Girl (or a Mini Umbrella Girl), head to the island of Penang (and register at Go Penang). [You could also become the Most Popular Umbrella Girl or the Most Talented Umbrella Girl (although I doubt that is judged by how well you hold the umbrella).]

Papparazi on the Prowl: Umbrella Protects Suri Cruise from Snow

Many things are important in this world, but when East Coast is buried in snow and you check Google News for umbrella updates and find 50 links to stories and photos of Suri Cruise showing off her latest umbrella . . . well, things just don't jive. But, if you are a fan of cuteness, it is out there for you. So we have Hello Magazine: "The world's a more exciting place when it snows – especially when the weather gives you the chance to show off your new umbrella." and the Daily Mail tells us: "With a choice of two umbrellas to shelter her from the heavy flurry, Suri opted for her Walt Disney Princesses one, which she proudly showed off to the doorman."

So, what was her other choice? Maybe she still has her Lady Bug umbrella (thank you again,Daily Mail) from 2008?

Review: Wired Touts Heavy Duty Umbrella: A "Blunt" Instrument

Well, look at this one: "beefier-than-usual struts arranged in a more redundant, robust structure than most umbrellas" and a "'radial tensioning system' helps move the ribs firmly out against the fabric without requiring you to exert a huge amount of upward force." Now that is TECH talk. So, thanks to the folks at WIRED magazine for letting us in on the Blunt umbrella.

Other features that kept the reviewer dry in San Francisco include "a solid plastic collar that you push up until the umbrella snaps into shape" and "the ribs' tips are rounded, which keeps them from poking through the fabric."

But why trust the reviewer, check them out yourself at Blunt umbrellas or watch it in action: 

Brollies Lost and Brollies Sold: We Need Our Umbrellas

Today's news from the world of umbrellas has a sad tale from Australia and an economic tale from Pakistan. First, the sad story. According to Cambelltown's Macarthur Chronicle, an Barbara Fulton, from Airds, is hoping an umbrella with sentimental value she lost can be handed back.
She lost the blue umbrella with black polka dots on Saturday, January 30 after she accidentally left it on a fence near the Dumaresq St bus stop. The umbrella was a gift from her daughter, who died of cancer several years ago. Lost Umbrellas are always sad, but we do send our wishes to Barbara.

Further establishing the need for our umbrellas is this story from the Daily Times of Islamabad, which is quoted in its entirely:

With the start of recent rains, a new variety of umbrellas in main and small markets of Rawalpindi and Islamabad has emerged and their sale has witnessed an increase. This news agency observed that the rain forced people to buy the umbrellas for carrying out their routine activities, but the vendors and shopkeepers were taking advantage of the situation and demanding high prices. Talking to this agency, Haq Nawaz, a commuter, termed umbrella an essential item to go out of the home during rain.

Unfortunately, there is no clue as to what are the new variety of umbrellas. Otherwise, this is a dog bites an story--high demand can lead to high prices.

So What's Wrong with Being an Umbrella Stand? Who Cares if it Is Worth a Fortune!

Well, the British papers are all full of how an elderly couple had been sitting on a extremely valuable, 270-year-old Chinese vase made during the reign of Emperor Qianlong and . . . shame of shame . . . had been using it to store old umbrellas in a back room! For those who treasure umbrellas, what better way to store them than in a vase worth £500,000. And, to add to the criticism of umbrella stands, the stories suggest that the vase could have been worth twice as much if not damaged--presumably by the lowly umbrellas placed in said vase.

And, in a case of life imitating art, the Daily Mail says "The find is identical to a plot from the TV series Lovejoy, in which the hero spotted a similarly valuable Chinese vase being used by an old lady as an umbrella stand." In other words, while there appears to be a strong cultural taboo against the used of valuable Chinese vases as umbrella stands, people are resisting the cultural pressures--at least until they become old and someone mucks around in their houses.

"There's a Man in the Habit of Hitting Me on the Head with an Umbrella" by Fernando Sorrentino

Ah, the paths that a search for literature can take you on. This evening, it started with a quote. Reading The Man Who Invented Christmas: How Charles Dickens's A Christmas Carol Rescued His Career and Revived Our Holiday Spirits by Les Standiford, I found the following: "'Art cannot rescue  anybody from anythng,' rings the last line of a well-known story by Gilbert Sorrentino." I was taken aback by this; having read Sorrentino's Mulligan Stew: A Novel and some other fiction by him, I just could not believe that there was such a thing as a "well-known" story by him. So, off to the Internet. Sure enough, this quote has been picked up by at least one other source, which attributes it to The Moon in Its Flight, a collection of short fiction not available in my public library (but then neither is Mulligan Stew!). So maybe there is a story with the same name as this title--the "well-known" one.

Given my penchant for connecting umbrellas and literature, the next step was to search for Sorrentino and umbrellas (after a side trip to Wikipedia to read more about Sorrentino). Well, I end up with a wonderful hit, but not for Gilbert Sorrentino, but for Fernando Sorrentino,  an Argentine writer. While not a lot of his work appears to be translated into English in published books, there are quite a few stories available on the Internet, most importantly for our purposes: "There's a Man in the Habit of Hitting Me on the Head with an Umbrella" translated by Clark M. Zlotchew. I will quote the first paragraph for you, and then you can go read the rest:

There's a man in the habit of hitting me on the head with an umbrella. It's exactly five years today that he's been hitting me on the head with his umbrella. At first I couldn't stand it; now I'm used to it.

Borges, anyone?

It is available in its original Spanish, too, and was published in his collection: Imperios y servidumbres (1972)

Umbrellas as Architecture to Protect the Streets

Yesterday, we were concerned that umbrellas were blocking the access to the beaches in Thailand. Today, we have the better news that we are adding umbrella-like structure to our city streets. According to the Philadelphia Inquirer, the "Urban Umbrella" is coming: Young-Hwan Choi, a University of Pennsylvania architecture student has devised an elegant new design for the sidewalk sheds that protect pedestrians during construction.

He calls the design the "Urban Umbrella," because the steel columns open up like the bones of an umbrella to support the shed roof.

Those curved struts appear to weave together, forming an arched canopy that calls to mind the ribs of vaulted medieval ceilings, such as the one at England's Exeter Cathedral. While we admire such soaring vaults for their looks, they were developed because of their inherent strength. The streamlined Urban Umbrella can support as much weight as the bulky cross braces now in use, yet it promises a clear, airy path for pedestrians.

Go urban, umbrellas, go urban!

Umbrella Enforcement Actions in Thailand

Thai umbrella enforcement officials are out in force on the tourist city of Pattaya. According to the Pattaya People Weekly, "Deputy Mayor Ronnakit Aegesing and municipal officers paid a visit to Pattaya Beach on the morning of the 3^rd February to inspect and survey the number of beach umbrella and deckchair operators working there." The concern is that the umbrellas are obstructing the ability of tourists to get through and do their tourist thing. There is also beach erosion, but they are not apparently blaming the umbrellas for that alone. More significantly, the story alludes to "dubious masseurs" (an interesting concern given what shows up in Take Off To Pattaya) but again fails to tie these to the umbrellas.

Giving the Gift of Umbrellas: Charity Reigns (Rains)

Umbrellas may become a stock item in the charitable giving basket if this trend continues . . . According to the San Antonio Express-News,  District 5 Councilman David Medina Jr. distributed 500 colorful umbrellas to an assembly of elementary school-aged children at JT Brackenridge Academy.

“Today is a rainy day as many winter days are in San Antonio and a large number of families in this disadvantaged community cannot afford to purchase umbrellas for their children,” Medina said.

Medina added, “When it rains, the children get drenched on their way to and from school and often get sick as result. We want to do our part to assure the children stay healthy so they can think clearly and absorb what they are being taught.”